Salam…hi all…
I’m driving again today….sigh…and parking was a nightmare in Bangsar! I ended up at a basement parking that cost me $1 per hour…can’t complaint thou. It’s affordable.
I met a dear friend for breakfast at Devi’s (yes, it’s an Indian restaurant). And it just so happen that my youngest sister was in that area too and she joined us for a glass of “pull tea” :-) and thosai (it’s an Indian delicacies…it is something like Roti Canai but its thinner and less cholesterol…I was told. I’m not sure if it’s true).
We chat for 2 hours or so and it was an eye opener! They gave me lots of feedback and ideas on my next stories for my blog. To Sharina and my little sister; thank you. It was a time well spent with you both.
Last night at approximately 10.30pm, I received a bb message from a good friend (a lady). Shocked to be honest because for almost 5 years I’ve known her and her hubby, we never communicate over phone or bb or text messages in the late evening.
And the chat goes like this (bbm language…I copy/paste from my bb…I just change her name):-
Friend: Hi…u up?
Me: Hi…yes…what’s up? U ok?
Friend: Not ok..need to chat. Free?
Me: o dear..yes can chat..H with you? (H is the hubby)
Friend: Travelling..as usual. Me alone. At home. I think my marriage is in trouble
Me: o my…I’m all ears…
Friend: Me and H hardly spend time together. He travel all the time and when he’s home he is too tied up with his mother.
Friend: You know that he is close to his mum…mummy’s boy..sigh..
Me: Yes...i know…but i thought you guys r staying on your own?
Friend: It was a plan…and still remain as plan…sigh..
Me: I remember once I had a chat with H and he did say and agreed that staying with the parents is not a long term plan for you both. What happen than?
Friend: Seems difficult for him to leave the house. His mum disagrees. She said wasting money. The house is big enough for everyone
Friend: But u know….we can’t even have our own hubby wife privacy…everything mum will get involve! I’m losing it!
Me: Hmmmm…(I’m speechless)
Friend: I don’t know what else to do
Friend: Tried to talk to H but he’s like stuck in the middle
Friend: What do u think I should do?
Friend: Maybe u can have a chat with H? Coz he listens to u
Me: Hmm…this is a very delicate situation…I dare not jump into this
Me: Unless H approaches me…u know what I mean..?
Friend: Yah…understand…but I’m losing patience. Can’t take it anymore! Everything mummy 1st, wife 2nd...
Me: Let me bb H...will try to start a conversation…lets c if he opens up…u know how H is....will give it a shot
Me: That’s all I can do…for now
Friend: Yes please…I love my marriage but I can’t stand his mum…too much!
Me: Understand…stay cool ok...try to talk to H again. U’ll never know…don’t stop trying
Friend: Ya ok…i will
Me: He loves u much…I know that…so give him a chance…speak to him
Friend: Yes…I know…
Me: Hang in there...ok..
Friend: Thanks yah…and bb him please…
Me: My pleasure…I will buzz him tomorrow
Me: Don’t think bout it 2 much…now…get some sleep
Friend: Yah ok…thanks SS…let me know if he responds to you
Me: Ok..will do…sleep now! Don’t think 2 much…Nite
Friend: Ok…nite
Conversation over bb ended at 11.18pm
This is a tough situation or issue to handle. The wife wants to leave but the hubby feels that his responsibility to the mother is more important than his own marriage.
I stayed with my parents for 3 years after I got married but I decided to move on for the benefit of everyone. But so far, I’ve never fail to visit my parents at least once a week during the weekend. To me; it’s not a matter of right or wrong to stay with the parents. It’s very subjective. The couple must decide what’s best for them. Staying on your own will not separate the ties between a son and a mother. Weigh all your options and reason things out with your parents. I’m sure they will understand that the time has come for them to let you go to lead your own life.
Moral of the story: You must know your priorities…
To H and wife; please talk it over….I’m sure you both can sort it out. Love you both dearly and if you need my help; you know how to get me...
2 comments:
I experience this last year. My parent insisted me, wife and 4 kids stay with them as the house was big enough for all of us.
My mom even cried coz I've decided to move out.
Now, it's been 10 month since I left my parent's home. We visit them every weekend. Alhamdulillah, everything's ok now.
Agreed with Shamsul Salim, YOU MUST KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES...
Salam...hi Yusrie..its a tough situation. I know..i went thru the same but a choice had to be made so long as we don't neglect our responsibilty as a son.. :-)
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