Salam…hi all…Tok Selampit in action! Pump-up to write!
A fairly empty train yet again today…weird but true; I kind of missed the usual crowded morning rush hour train but I guess most people are still in holiday mood.
I managed to get a sit obviously and there sits a young couple opposite of me. They are probably in their early 20’s and were very busy talking.
The girl ...was pestering or more like demanding a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner! And the boy kept changing the subject…I can see that she’s getting upset. The conversation is getting nowhere and they reached their stop. Off they went…
What is Valentine’s Day? It has been made known to the Muslim community in Malaysia that celebrating Valentine’s Day is “haram” (Forbidden). I don’t blame the “Ulama” (Religious Scholar) for making such stand. If you know the actual/true story of Valentine’s Day and why the western people celebrate this day; you will probably agree with me (do your research please). It’s definitely not for the Muslim. Not the Muslim culture. However it’s not wrong for the non-Muslim to celebrate. We have no rights to stop them. We have no rights to tell them what’s wrong and what’s right. We must respect other religion and cultures.
Muslim community are not so conservative. There are a few western cultures that we adopt; for example Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Women’s Day etc etc. These proved that not all western culture are not suitable for the Muslim community. Take the good ones and put aside the ones that go against our belief. It’s simple actually…let’s not complicate matters.
So what is the Muslim culture than? Do we have to wait for such “keramat” (Sacred) date of February 14th to go out for a romantic dinner or to buy a bouquet of roses or gifts for our love ones?
This reminds me of the day (16 years ago!) before I sign my life away or in other words; the day I got married! And yes…I’m married (need to remind myself over and over again sometimes…LOL!)
I told my wife that:-
1. I’m not a romantic person
2. I won’t buy you flowers
3. I’ll take you out for dinner; birthday and anniversary. The rest; impromptu.
4. I won’t hold your hands when we cross the road or while walking in a mall
5. I’ll give you money for you to shop however there will be time that we’ll go separate ways
6. There will also be time that you’ll walk on your own in the shopping mall coz I prefer to sit somewhere to have my coffee. Once you done, you know where to find me
Cruel? To some; yes. To me; well…the method works! We are still together after 16 years of marriage. Hopefully we’ll still be together for many more years to come…
Here’s my reasoning; why should I do something for my wife if I can’t be sure that I’ll be consistent with all my actions for the next many years to come? If I hold her hands while crossing the road or walking in the mall during the 1st year of our marriage; will I be doing the same after 10 years of marriage? If I buy her a bouquet of roses for our wedding anniversary; will I still be able to do same without fail every year?
I’ve seen many married couples failed to remain consistent. Year 1 to year 3; all wonderful, lovey dovey, holding hands etc etc…come year 4 with 2 kids...the hubby walks upfront, the wife waaaay behind struggling to handle everything on her own. Agree with me? Come on…don’t try to bluff yourself…the truth hurts…LOL! Men will always be Men!
Expectation is a mother of all disappointments! You give flowers this year, she’ll expect the same bouquet or bigger! And when she is disappointed coz her expectation was not met: you are in big trouble my friend…
So, in order to remain relevant and consistent to the eyes of your wife; you better pre-empt all your moves. I am very much an impromptu/spontaneous person. I’ll take my wife for dinner for no apparent reason coz I don’t need any to spend time with her. I’ll buy her things when I have the money and not for any specific occasion. But that’s me…your method could be better than mine..
Alhamdulillah…I managed to remain relevant and consistent for the past 16 years. It was never easy. We went thru ups and downs together.
Am I a good hubby? Hell no! A naughty hubby I am… LOL!
But she was there…all the time thru thick and thin…I’ve got nothing when we got married. I became somebody thru out the process and earning big bucks. And now, I’m back to nothing…and she didn’t run away….
To my wife; thank you for loving me and accepting me for who I am…I’m blessed to have you as my partner in crime with the two wonderful children you have given me and hopefully for many years to come… insyallah…
Moral of the story: A ‘keramat’/sacred date are not needed for you to show your love and your appreciation to someone…
Have a good day peeps!
A fairly empty train yet again today…weird but true; I kind of missed the usual crowded morning rush hour train but I guess most people are still in holiday mood.
I managed to get a sit obviously and there sits a young couple opposite of me. They are probably in their early 20’s and were very busy talking.
The girl ...was pestering or more like demanding a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner! And the boy kept changing the subject…I can see that she’s getting upset. The conversation is getting nowhere and they reached their stop. Off they went…
What is Valentine’s Day? It has been made known to the Muslim community in Malaysia that celebrating Valentine’s Day is “haram” (Forbidden). I don’t blame the “Ulama” (Religious Scholar) for making such stand. If you know the actual/true story of Valentine’s Day and why the western people celebrate this day; you will probably agree with me (do your research please). It’s definitely not for the Muslim. Not the Muslim culture. However it’s not wrong for the non-Muslim to celebrate. We have no rights to stop them. We have no rights to tell them what’s wrong and what’s right. We must respect other religion and cultures.
Muslim community are not so conservative. There are a few western cultures that we adopt; for example Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Women’s Day etc etc. These proved that not all western culture are not suitable for the Muslim community. Take the good ones and put aside the ones that go against our belief. It’s simple actually…let’s not complicate matters.
So what is the Muslim culture than? Do we have to wait for such “keramat” (Sacred) date of February 14th to go out for a romantic dinner or to buy a bouquet of roses or gifts for our love ones?
This reminds me of the day (16 years ago!) before I sign my life away or in other words; the day I got married! And yes…I’m married (need to remind myself over and over again sometimes…LOL!)
I told my wife that:-
1. I’m not a romantic person
2. I won’t buy you flowers
3. I’ll take you out for dinner; birthday and anniversary. The rest; impromptu.
4. I won’t hold your hands when we cross the road or while walking in a mall
5. I’ll give you money for you to shop however there will be time that we’ll go separate ways
6. There will also be time that you’ll walk on your own in the shopping mall coz I prefer to sit somewhere to have my coffee. Once you done, you know where to find me
Cruel? To some; yes. To me; well…the method works! We are still together after 16 years of marriage. Hopefully we’ll still be together for many more years to come…
Here’s my reasoning; why should I do something for my wife if I can’t be sure that I’ll be consistent with all my actions for the next many years to come? If I hold her hands while crossing the road or walking in the mall during the 1st year of our marriage; will I be doing the same after 10 years of marriage? If I buy her a bouquet of roses for our wedding anniversary; will I still be able to do same without fail every year?
I’ve seen many married couples failed to remain consistent. Year 1 to year 3; all wonderful, lovey dovey, holding hands etc etc…come year 4 with 2 kids...the hubby walks upfront, the wife waaaay behind struggling to handle everything on her own. Agree with me? Come on…don’t try to bluff yourself…the truth hurts…LOL! Men will always be Men!
Expectation is a mother of all disappointments! You give flowers this year, she’ll expect the same bouquet or bigger! And when she is disappointed coz her expectation was not met: you are in big trouble my friend…
So, in order to remain relevant and consistent to the eyes of your wife; you better pre-empt all your moves. I am very much an impromptu/spontaneous person. I’ll take my wife for dinner for no apparent reason coz I don’t need any to spend time with her. I’ll buy her things when I have the money and not for any specific occasion. But that’s me…your method could be better than mine..
Alhamdulillah…I managed to remain relevant and consistent for the past 16 years. It was never easy. We went thru ups and downs together.
Am I a good hubby? Hell no! A naughty hubby I am… LOL!
But she was there…all the time thru thick and thin…I’ve got nothing when we got married. I became somebody thru out the process and earning big bucks. And now, I’m back to nothing…and she didn’t run away….
To my wife; thank you for loving me and accepting me for who I am…I’m blessed to have you as my partner in crime with the two wonderful children you have given me and hopefully for many years to come… insyallah…
Moral of the story: A ‘keramat’/sacred date are not needed for you to show your love and your appreciation to someone…
Have a good day peeps!
Posted on FB Feb 14th, 2013
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