Salam…hi all…
Its Friday March 15th, 2013. Friday – Day of All
Days.
I’m back on the train today. It has been awhile. Most of my
meetings recently require me to drive to the destination. There are no train
services to that area…sigh…parking was a nightmare!
Time flies….it’s already the 3rd month of year
2013 and while sitting all the way back at the very last coach of the train,
I’m thinking back; what have I achieve so far? Hmmmm…not much I guess…sigh..
Doing a consulting job is not easy after all. Some clients
are taking their own sweet time to pay the bills. Some just expect me to
“beg”…..life…
Sitting opposite of me, there sits a mother with 3 kids. The
lady looks calm and collected handling the 3 very hyper kids. The ages of her
kids are probably between 3 – 9 years old. A handful to handle alone! I was kind
of amazed to watch her skills of handling these hyper kids. It’s definitely not
an easy task! She knows I was watching and she looks at me and said, “Half of
my energy gone!” and she smile. And I said, “I’m sure you are doing a better
job than anyone else. I don’t think I have the skills to handle 3 at the same
time and alone! No way can I do it”. She looks at me again and said, “Yes it’s
not easy. And I’m the mother and the ‘father’ to these 3 heroes. I’m a single
mother”. At this point; I can see the sadness on her face and I replied; “Oh…I’m
so sorry to hear that”. “Well…it’s my stop. It was a pleasure talking to you
and good luck”. “Pleasure was mine. Thank you” she replied with a smile.
It’s sad to see 3 very young kids growing up in a broken home. At
the very young age that needs the attention from a father. But I guess things
happen for a reason that only the almighty knows the truth. Unfortunately,
between 2 grown adults fighting; their kids are the victim of circumstances.
This reminds me of a conversation with my dear friend few
weeks ago. She lives in Kedah (up north of Malaysia) now. We were talking about
the stories that I uploaded on my blog. And when we talked about one of my posting
on polygamy; she said “I commented because I know how it feels like to live in
a broken home”. I asked, “Oh really? What actually happen?” “Well, after 15 years
of marriage with 5 kids, my father decided to walk away.” she replied with a
sad voice.
“Oh dear…I’m so sorry. It must have been tough huh?” I’m
trying to push her to tell me more…
Here’s the story; sadly after my mum married my dad, he
became a different person. A womaniser! There were times that my mum bump
into my dad with a different woman in his arms. He left us and my mum was the
one that have to struggle to make ends meet. During the 80’s, my mum was a
columnist with a local newspaper. She writes on a daily basis and she also took
up the role as an editor. These 2 jobs require long hours at the office. We (my
eldest sisters and my brothers) had to lead our own life at home without her. We
were pushed to a corner. We need to learn to survive on our own. Do our own
things like laundry, feed ourselves etc. Mum had to work. And she was not
earning that much at that time. Sadly, being a single mother; coming back from
the office at odd hours becomes a topic/gossip amongst the neighbours. For some
reason; being a single mother those days the society looks down on you. Weird
but true.
My mum is a fighter. She works hard day and night to feed
us, ensure that all of her kids receive good education. And for many years we struggled.
Debts were just countless! With family members, groceries store, you name it!
But my mum always said; “have faith, believe in the
Almighty. Insyallah ‘he’ will help us”.
With the hardship that she had to go through, she managed to
send 2 of my sisters and my brother to study abroad. And as for my other
brother and me, we further our studies at a local University.
“Your mum is a columnist? Which newspaper?” I asked. “Berita
Harian and Berita Minggu. She is better known as “Cik Sri Siantan”.
“What?!” I know this writer! I've read her writing many
years ago! What a small world”…I was really in shock. I’m talking to the
daughter of “Cik Sri Siantan”. I didn’t know all this while.
“From your stories; your mum is one hell of a very determine
person. A very strong character indeed. I mean; to survive with 5 kids without the
support from a husband was one hell of an achievement” I was in awe…
We were on the phone for almost 30 minutes. And it was a
pleasure to had the opportunity to speak to the daughter of a great writer.
There are 2 issues here; firstly it is without doubt that in
a broken home not only the wife will suffer but the kids will suffer the most…I
think. They were given no choice but to lead their life’s without a father
figure at a very young age. Secondly, I still failed to understand on why the society
is looking down on single mothers. Some even said that “if she’s a single
mother, it’s a lot easier for men to get under her ‘skirt’. That’s how low the
mentality of some men…sad…
Moral of the story; Being a parent is a tough job; what more
being a single parent!
To Cik Sri Siantan; if you are reading this…it was an honour
to get to know you thru your daughter. Your writing was a masterpiece. How I wish
you are still writing….
And to all single mothers out there; I salute you!
Have a good day peeps!
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